How To Escape (Or Survive) The American Dream
I left my home in Asheville on the 4th of July.
The news was giving me panic attacks and I couldn’t eat or sleep.
I gave away everything that didn’t fit in my car. Furniture, a guitar, everything.
When I thought about moving slower or taking time to sell things, my body just kept screaming Faster. My body has screamed before and I wasn’t going to make the mistake of not listening this time.
I am lucky enough to work remotely. I took a week off to focus. I got rid of everything in two days, and then I packed up my cat and started driving to Canada. My mother came to visit hoping that I would change my mind, but she resigned herself to helping me anyway. She has never seen me this hardened by resolve. I don’t think I have either.
On July 4 morning, I found a monthly, pet-friendly rental on Airbnb and I drove across the border. Then came the tears of relief, and grief, and fear, and gratitude.
I have already fought my battle against a narcissist and I barely escaped with my life. Now there is one running the country. And the rest are getting bolder. There are more of them than you think. People you might not suspect.
Do not underestimate what they're capable of.
They do not possess the temperance that is born from foresight.
Congress and the Supreme Court are also under Republican control.
Even if DT leaves in 4 years (which he will not do willingly), no Democratic president will be able to restore the damage until those things also change.
They are trying to sell off public lands.
They are harassing even legal immigrants, or worse.
They're trying to remove birth-right citizenship.
They are stripping women's rights away because his evangelist supporters believe their religious beliefs should be imposed on everyone.
Rape victims and miscarriages are not exempt.
They're expanding surveillance of American citizens and undermining free press.
The list grows almost daily.
I have never felt more privileged to be white,
and I have never felt more unlucky to be a woman.
If I had children, especially daughters, I would not want to raise them here.
Our power is eroding.
As the economy worsens and the food supply is affected, we will be too busy surviving to fight back.
And even if we did, resisting just emboldens narcissists more.
The harder you fight the more ruthless they become.
This is how you boil a frog.
They slowly turn up the heat, and by the time you know if you're overreacting, it's already too late.
I know because I have been here before.
My biggest mistake was hope.
But another mistake is fear.
They prey on all of it.
Adriana Smith was declared brain dead at nine weeks pregnant and forced to carry a fetus to birth because of Georgia's abortion law.
Melissa Hortman, a Democratic house speaker, was murdered in her own home.
This was a political assassination.
Look at where we are at only year number one.
But my reasons go beyond the presidency.
The American dream has been a facade and it’s just now harder to ignore.
I’m tired of trying to survive.
I can’t afford housing.
The healthcare system is broken.
The food is poisoned.
The dating pool is abysmal.
It’s not supposed to be this hard to be loved,
or to be healthy,
or to meet your basic needs.
The boomers lived through the greatest economy in history and then they closed the door behind them.
Even after adjusting for inflation, college costs 3.5x more. Housing costs over 2x more.
If I fight back, then what am I fighting for?
More of the same?
30% of the country is possessed by Christian nationalists who do not share my values.
Every win for the things I care about eventually gets reversed.
We rank 38th in healthcare,
30th in mental healthcare,
43rd in women’s rights.
We rank first in military spending.
We have the highest infant mortality rate of any developed country, especially for minorities.
We are the only developed nation that doesn’t guarantee paid time off.
In other countries, statutory minimums range from 20–36 days. They work 29–35 hours per week. Parental leave includes fathers and totals 14 to 69 weeks.
We can’t have such room to breathe because then we would have time to think.
A cursed nation built on the backs of slaves and stolen land.
Once upon a time, America was great.
We did great things.
We cured diseases.
We walked on the moon.
We made great art and great discoveries.
It can be great again.
But it’s going to take a very long time.
Out of 195 countries, 84 have freedom.
I don’t consider us one of them.
I already fought my battle.
I already hit my rock bottom.
I’m facing all of this alone, and I am weary.
Who will protect me?
As usual, I’m stuck waiting for the world to learn the lesson I learned already, and I refuse to endure the brutality of a collective awakening.
I already had mine.
It is bad.
Worse than you want to believe.
You are all about to see what people with no empathy look like.
And the only way to win the game is not to play.
Pray for the best.
Plan for the worst.
Don’t panic, but prepare.
The insurrection was just a preview.
They never fail the same way twice.
Am I a coward for leaving?
My Celtic ancestors knew how to pick their battles.
They were strategists, like me. They fought when it made sense to fight and they fled when it made sense to flee.
Our home in Armorica was a wild and windy place,
and maybe that’s why I feel a distant calling when the wind blows.
The cold was salty, wet and raw,
but the earth there rarely freezes,
and maybe that’s why I hate deep winter.
We fled to Ireland during the Gallic Wars, 2,000 years ago.
We held the line for centuries and then we moved again.
We are people who keep moving.
What if we just let them have their own country?
What if we abandon them to suffer the aftermath of their own policies?
I remember who I am and this life is beneath us. We are all immigrants.
How to Stay
If you’re staying put, remember that the strongest nervous system wins.
Remind yourself that in this exact place in this exact moment, you are alive and safe.
Survival is not only about endurance. It’s about cultivating resilience, presence, and small moments of joy. Take one day, one hour, even one minute at a time. Control what you can. Surrender what you cannot. And savor every moment of joy.
Anchor Your Mind & Spirit
Savor things; practice gratitude daily.
Reframe your thoughts and notice where your mind is choosing fear over possibility.
Believe in something greater: spirit, nature, the future, or the unseen strength inside you.
Look for meaning in suffering. When facing unavoidable pain, choose your attitude toward it. This is your ultimate freedom and a powerful source of meaning.
Set easy, achievable goals and build momentum through small victories.
Exercise the “will to meaning.” Actively seek and find purpose in your life through deeds, experiences, and the attitude you take toward suffering.
Nurture Connection
Have something or someone to live for: a person, a cause, or a future you refuse to abandon.
Find connection and let yourself be witnessed.
Share the wealth: offer kindness, time, or resources where you can.
Practice acts of kindness as a strategy for hope.
Don’t compare yourself to others; notice your own progress instead.
Care for Your Body
Move your body: exercise, walk, drive, swim: generate momentum in any form.
Sleep well and protect your rest as fiercely as your work.
Eat healthy and choose fuel that keeps your mind clear.
Get sunshine, touch dirt, breathe fresh air.
Hug, be held, and remember that safe touch is medicine.
Feel & Release
Create a peaceful home that steadies you.
Meditate, and balance stillness with release.
Laugh. Cry. Scream. Let emotions move through you instead of calcifying inside.
Journal your thoughts until they lose their grip.
Listen to music, brown noise, or binaural beats: let sound regulate your nervous system.
Create. One of the most direct paths to meaning is bringing something new into existence.
Practice deep belly breaths and return to your body.
Trust your intuition; it is wiser than analysis.
Protect Your Sanity
Gather emergency supplies so your body trusts it is safe.
Use paradoxical intention. Overcome anticipatory anxiety by intending the very thing you fear; exaggerate it in your mind until its hold weakens.
Anchor yourself in the present moment; your safety is here and now, not in an endless scroll of “what ifs.”
Find humor in the absurd. Sometimes the only sane response to insanity is to laugh at how ridiculous it all is.
Don’t confuse information with safety.
When the world feels unstable, your brain thinks if it just has enough data, you’ll finally feel secure. But in this climate, the opposite is true: the more information you consume, the less safe you will feel.
In creeping fascism, news itself becomes less and less reliable. Propaganda multiplies, and even voices on “our side” slip into fear-mongering. That constant drip of crisis; whether true, exaggerated, or distorted, keeps your nervous system in permanent fight-or-flight, which makes you easier to manipulate and less able to think clearly.
Information overload won’t make you safer. It will just make you more exhausted, more anxious, more paralyzed, and more vulnerable. True safety comes from anchoring in your body, your home, and your present moment, not from chasing certainty in an endless news cycle.
Resources
How to Find Independent News Sources
Independent journalism is your best defense against both state propaganda and corporate spin. Here’s how to vet and find them:
Follow the money. Ask: Who funds this outlet? If it’s corporate advertisers, billionaires, or political parties, expect bias. Independent outlets are often nonprofit or crowdfunded.
Check transparency. Legitimate sources disclose their board, funding, and editorial standards.
Look for consistency. Trust outlets that have a long record of fact-checking and investigative reporting.
Diversify. Rely on more than one source so you don’t get trapped in a single narrative.
Recommended Independent & Global Sources:
ProtectDemocracy.org
A nonprofit dedicated to resisting the erosion of democratic institutions. One of its key tools is the Authoritarian Threat Index, which currently rates the U.S. at 3.3 out of 5 (a “severe” threat level). This provides a sober, data-driven perspective beyond fear-driven media cycles, helping you understand the long game of authoritarianism and the steps being taken to resist it.GovBrief.Today
A daily government brief designed to keep citizens informed without overwhelming them. It distills essential political and civic updates into digestible form. A counter to the chaos and noise of the 24/7 news cycle. Perfect for staying grounded without spiraling into overconsumption.Democracy Now! Daily headlines and in-depth reporting without corporate sponsorship.
ProPublica Investigative journalism exposing corruption, injustice, and abuse of power.
The Intercept Bold reporting on surveillance, government, and systemic abuse.
Truthout Progressive, independent commentary and analysis
BBC World News International coverage with a broader, global lens than U.S. outlets (note: state-funded, but widely respected for factual reporting).
Al Jazeera Global perspective with strong Middle Eastern and Global South coverage often absent in U.S. media.
If You Choose to Resist
For those who remain, there is strength in numbers. Resistance doesn’t have to mean violence and history shows nonviolent struggle can be one of the most effective strategies.
Gene Sharp’s Work
Political scientist Gene Sharp, founder of the Albert Einstein Institution, outlined 198 Methods of Nonviolent Action, grouped into:
Protest & Persuasion – marches, vigils, petitions.
Noncooperation – boycotts, strikes, refusing compliance.
Nonviolent Intervention – sit-ins, occupations, parallel institutions.
Sharp called this the “jiu-jitsu of nonviolence.” When peaceful protest meets violent repression, the regime often undermines itself; losing legitimacy, splitting its own support, and drawing condemnation from the wider world. His central insight: even authoritarian regimes depend on the cooperation of the governed. When people withdraw that cooperation, power begins to collapse.
Practical Guidance
Be careful online. Nothing you post is invisible, and social media is already being used to monitor dissent and immigration.
Use encryption. Communicate with secure tools like Signal or ProtonMail.
Act collectively. Numbers create leverage.
Stay disciplined. Nonviolence works by exposing brutality, not mirroring it.
Don’t dehumanize. Treat opposing supporters as you would victims of a cult: with boundaries, but also with compassion. Author and cult expert Steven Hassan teaches that people begin to leave high-control groups when they are met with empathy, respectful questions, and proof that safe alternatives exist. Dignity, not shame, creates openings. It doesn’t have to come from a place of compassion or forgiveness. It can come from a place of strategy.
Peace is not always the answer. To be skilled at peace, you must also be skilled at war. History shows that peace alone did not protect Native Americans, Hawaiians, and countless Indigenous peoples. Nonviolence without strategy becomes submission. Strength is what protects peace. Nonviolent struggle is not passivity; it is a form of disciplined warfare that requires courage, clarity, and readiness.
Vote with your wallet. Every dollar you spend is a ballot. Corporations prop up systems of power just as much as politicians do. Boycotts are one of the most effective ways to withdraw consent and cooperation. Companies to target for scaling back DEI, funding extremists, or exploiting workers include Target, Walmart, Amazon, Google (Alphabet), Meta (Facebook/Instagram), McDonald’s, Ford, Lowe’s, Harley-Davidson, John Deere, Goldman Sachs, PepsiCo, AT&T, Pfizer, Toyota, Blackstone Group, Fidelity Investments and Tesla
Resistance is slow, patient work. But it is powerful.
If You’re Ready To Leave
Making a bid for power requires risk.
Leveling up will always cost you something.
Achievement is not rooted in what you can acquire, but in what you can let go of.
If you want a better life, what are you willing to lose? And who?
Changing timelines comes with a crisis of identity, the death of relationships, fear of the unknown, and grief over what you must sacrifice
High rewards have high costs.
In the beginning, success is not supposed to feel like winning.
It’s supposed to feel like mourning.
You have to love yourself more than the life you created,
more than your things,
more than your familiar comforts.
You have to give up being a martyr for those who can’t listen, won’t look, or don’t believe.
The problem goes beyond one person and his supporters.
It’s systemic.
Destruction is a creative force.
And on the other side of destruction, there is renewal.
But you have to survive the destruction first.
And renewal will take a very long time.
So decide how you want to spend your time waiting.
“But the vagrant owns the whole vast earth that ends only at the nonexistent horizon, and her empire is an intangible one, for her domination and enjoyment of it are things of the spirit.”
Look ahead. Don’t focus only on what you are running away from, but what you are running towards.
If you’re single, what makes you “too much” in America may be what makes you wanted somewhere else. For women, traits that are often criticized at home like directness, confidence, emotional honesty and independence are admired more abroad.
For empathic men, sensitivity and emotional depth, often mocked in the U.S., are honored elsewhere as signs of strength.
(But also, intentionally searching for love is meaningless and futile).
If you’re a woman, research countries with stronger gender equality.
If you’re of childbearing age and pro-choice, check international abortion laws.
If housing feels impossible where you are, seek nations with lower costs of living.
Let your values be your compass.
A great deal of the overwhelm is just in knowing where to go.
So start small: do you know even one person abroad who can help you integrate?
Consider a short-term, worst-case or last-minute plan just in case you need it. Canada and Mexico both allow American tourists for 180 days. Think about destinations where your nervous system can find peace while you plan your next steps. (Mexico, however, is not always safe to drive around and conditions vary widely by region. Research routes and current advisories carefully before making plans).
Then continue your research. I can’t guarantee every detail here is perfectly accurate, but this will give you a starting point. Be aware that some visas must be applied for in person from the U.S.; others can be submitted online or after you arrive.
This is not an exhaustive list, but here are common pathways:
Student visas. Consider going back to or transferring schools. Countries like Germany, Iceland, Norway, Argentina, France, the Czech Republic, Brazil, and Austria offer free or very low-cost tuition that often extends to international students. Additionally, many universities abroad are approved to accept U.S. federal student loans (via FAFSA). Eligible schools can be found in Canada, the UK, Ireland, Australia, New Zealand, Germany, France, Spain, Italy, the Netherlands, Sweden, Israel, South Africa, Japan, and more.
Work visas. Look for jobs that will sponsor you as a skilled worker. In Canada, provincial nominee programs are the best entry point. Australia, New Zealand, Ireland and Germany also have programs for attracting skilled workers.
Digital nomad visas. If you already work remotely, many countries now offer long-stay or digital nomad permits. Check Croatia, Greece, Hungary, Costa Rica, Portugal, Estonia, Mexico, Spain and France.
Entrepreneur/self-employment visas. Examples include the Netherlands self-employed permit and Ecuador’s professional visa.
Passive Income/Retirement visas. Portugal’s passive income visa is one option along with Panama, Costa Rica and Greece.
Residency by investment. Some countries offer residency (and sometimes even a path to citizenship) in exchange for real estate purchases, business investment, or government bonds. Ecuador and Latvia both have relatively affordable programs.
Tourist visas. Many countries allow stays of 90 days or more. In the Schengen Area (most of Europe), you can stay up to 90 days total within a 180-day period across the entire region (not 90 days per country). Costa Rica permits 90 days but allows “visa runs” (leaving briefly and re-entering to reset the clock). If your lifestyle allows, you can just become a full-time traveler.
Birthright citizenship. If your parents, grandparents, or sometimes even great-grandparents were citizens of another country, you may qualify for citizenship yourself. Nations like Ireland, Italy, and Poland offer pathways based on ancestry.
Time-Based Naturalization. In many countries, simply living there long enough with legal residency leads to official citizenship. For example, Argentina and Peru allow naturalization after just two years of residency, one of the fastest in the world. Most countries range from 3–10 years.
Marriage & Family Reunification. One of the most straightforward routes in many countries. Marriage to a citizen often grants residency and, after a few years, citizenship. Some nations also allow sponsorship for parents, children, or even long-term partners.
When choosing, think about:
Territories. Don’t overlook places like the Canary Islands, French Polynesia, or the Azores. They often have their own visa rules, timelines, and costs of living, which can be very different from the mainland countries they belong to.
EU access. If you can establish yourself in one EU country, you eventually gain freedom of movement across the union.
Time zones (especially if you work remotely).
Climate & environment: weather, seasons, air quality, nature.
Cost of living: housing, food, healthcare, everyday life.
Safety & stability: crime rates, women’s safety, political climate, racism.
Healthcare & wellbeing: hospitals, mental health, reproductive rights.
Equality & inclusion: gender equality, LGBTQ+ rights, BIPOC-friendly policies.
Culture & politics: religion, drug laws, governance, freedoms.
Infrastructure: internet, transportation, housing quality.
Community & lifestyle: expat networks, dating, family-friendliness, pets.
Practicalities:
Don’t be a colonizer. Arrive with respect. Learn the language if you can. Remember that expats and digital nomads often drive up the cost of housing, food, and everyday life for locals. Be mindful of where you choose to live, what you pay, and how you participate in the local economy. Seek to integrate, not exploit.
Most countries require paperwork for pets. Vaccines must be up to date, and some destinations enforce quarantine on arrival. In almost all cases, you’ll also need a health certificate from a licensed veterinarian, signed within 10 days of travel, to prove your pet is healthy enough to enter.
Get your passport now if you don’t already have one.
Make digital copies of all key documents and phone numbers.
Remember that “high cost of living” isn’t always as expensive as it looks because exchange rates can work in your favor. For example, Canada is pricey on paper, but the U.S. dollar stretches farther there, easing the burden if you earn in USD.
If you’re pursuing citizenship or permanent residency, many countries limit how long you can leave each year without resetting your timeline.
If you’re outside the U.S. for 330 full days in a 12-month period, you may qualify for the Foreign Earned Income Exclusion, which can significantly reduce or even eliminate U.S. income taxes.
Check VisaHQ for visa requirements by country, including processing timelines and fees.
Check the U.S. State Department for the latest safety and security information before choosing routes or destinations.
Many countries require proof of vaccines (like yellow fever or polio) before entry, and others strongly recommend boosters (MMR, tetanus, hepatitis A/B). Check requirements well in advance so you don’t get stuck at the border. Some visas also require medical exams or health insurance proof. Check the CDC and WHO.
Inspiration on where to go:
Re-trace your roots. Sometimes the best place to begin is where your ancestors came from. Visiting (or even living in) the lands of your heritage can create a sense of belonging and continuity that modern life often lacks.
Astrocartography maps. Astrology applied to geography—these maps show where different parts of the world activate themes in your birth chart, like love, career, or creativity.
16 Personalities world map. A lighthearted way to see where your personality type might align with cultural values, lifestyle, or community.
Human Design environments and strategies. This system identifies the kinds of environments (mountains, cities, valleys, etc.) that best support your wellbeing, and it also highlights the most aligned way for you to make decisions.
Finding Community When You Arrive:
Couchsurfing meetups. Beyond free lodging, Couchsurfing hosts local gatherings where travelers and expats can meet in almost any major city.
Meetup groups. An easy way to find in-person communities around shared interests—language exchange, hiking, entrepreneurship, spirituality, and more.
Bumble BFF. Originally a dating app, Bumble now has a “BFF” mode designed specifically for finding friends, roommates, or social connections in a new place.
Nomad List. A crowd-sourced platform ranking cities worldwide on cost of living, safety, weather, internet speed, and expat communities—especially useful for digital nomads and remote workers.
What about leaving people behind?
Guilt is natural. You may feel like you’re abandoning loved ones. But when faced with overwhelm, helplessness and powerlessness, denial is a natural survival response. Most people won’t face reality until they’re forced to. The highs and lows of the system itself are addictive because small wins and fleeting moments of hope create just enough reward to keep people hooked. That cycle of intermittent reinforcement is chemical, and it makes walking away harder than constant suffering would.
You cannot wake someone up who isn’t ready.
Instead, see yourself as the one clearing the path. Go first. Prepare to receive them. Many countries offer family reunification programs once you’ve established yourself.
Trust the unknown. You don’t have to map everything in advance. Life abroad is full of detours: an unexpected job offer, a relationship, a community that captures your heart.
Don’t get stuck in overanalysis. Research with your thinking mind but let your intuitive mind make the final decision. Trust your gut over logic and leave room for the universe to help you in ways that cannot be pre-meditated.
“Nature loves courage. You make the commitment and nature will respond to that commitment by removing impossible obstacles. Dream the impossible dream and the world will not grind you under, it will lift you up. This is the trick. This is what all these teachers and philosophers who really counted, who really touched the alchemical gold, this is what they understood. This is the shamanic dance in the waterfall. This is how magic is done. By hurling yourself into the abyss and discovering it’s a feather bed.”
Whether you’re staying, resisting, or planning your exit, you don’t have to face it alone. I help people calm their nervous systems, find clarity in chaos, and make bold, aligned choices in uncertain times. If you need support, I’m here to walk with you. Contact me for coaching.
